Via CommonPlaceBook.com.

Henry VIII

From Times and Seasons:

The consecration of Gene Robison as bishop of the New Hampshire Diocese of the Episcopal Church is an affront to Christians everywhere. I am just thankful that the church’s founder, Henry VIII, and his wife Catherine of Aragon, and his wife Anne Boleyn, and his wife Jane Seymour, and his wife Anne of Cleves, and his wife Katherine Howard, and his wife Catherine Parr are no longer here to suffer through this assault on traditional Christian marriage.

– Paul Emmons, Westchester University

From MarkFiore.com. (If there’s a message saying the video is no longer available from the website, you can still follow the link to watch the video.)

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Fallwell and others speak of the “Homosexual Agenda,” but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:

6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)”

Visit Towleroad for more clips.

Via Queerty:

3. We’re more open-minded.

Look, I’m a blond-haired, blue-eyed white boy who grew up in middle-class suburbia. I’d like to think that I would be a tolerant, open-minded person regardless of my sexuality, but being gay has done a lot to make me a better human being There’s a world of difference between sympathy and empathy and knowing what it’s like to be treated differently simply because of who you are. It opens your mind to the casual racism and classism in this country.

[EMN Editor's Note: Trust me, you have to see the photo on the Queerty website that accompanies reason #3]

7. The Toaster Oven.

As you all know from your own coming out experience, one of the great gay thing about being gay is all the toaster ovens you get when your recruit new gays to the cause. The only down shot of this is that, at this point, I’m eating toast morning, noon and night.

Click to read all 12 reasons.

By Aaron G at GraphJam.com, a site that posts all kinds of graphs and charts, most of which are quite funny. Check it out.

Editor’s note: It looks like they turned the Japanese flag into a gay marriage placard. How awesome is that?

Well, then of course, many of us rightly took offense for the heavy Mormon influence during the Prop 8 vote in California. Well, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. I am converting dead Mormons into homosexuals.

My first Conversion is Joseph Smith.

Dear God of the Homos,

With your great and everlasting love that blessed the covenants of Achilles and Petroclus, Gilgamesh and Enkidu, and of Jonathon and David, bless then the soul of Joseph Smith of Sharon, Vermont with your divine penis.

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